to quote george carlin, life is worth losing. that's my philosophy at least, and it's not (just) something coming from a predisposition for pessimism. I've never had any genuine aspirations towards a career or any true plans in life. what i saw around me always seemed regimented. people doing things out of a need for conformity, money, safety, and not because of any kind of genuine desire. and the stuff that others DID do of their own accord---partying and socializing in the most superficial sense, sports, hanging out just because that was the thing to do, and brushing off time alone as something undesirable---all these things have always been unappealing to me. maybe it's because I was raised by good people with very limited horizons, so I never had an easily-expressible (if I can put it that way) way of making my internal conflict known. I've had a predisposition for misanthropy and pessimism ever since I can remember, but I also have kind of a strong constitution...
